>> Wednesday, July 30
YOU'RE GETTING OLDER WHEN...
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
Your back goes out, but you stay home.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining is longer.
You look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.
You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
You're suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. You go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.